YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
