When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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