I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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