I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
