How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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