belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
