I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
