Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
