As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
