We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize