i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
