I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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