your parents love me but you hate me
I want to stick my p in your. b.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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