I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
