I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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