I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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