his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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