a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Randomize
