he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
