small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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