Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
