Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He's on the porch naked. Help.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
