Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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