what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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