hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
