I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
bring money and cleavage
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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