As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
