Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My ass is underappreciated
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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