They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
