I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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