I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
did i walk over a car last night?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
