TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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