let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
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To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
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When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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