yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
