just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize