Where is the hickey?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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