Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He has the fingertips of a God
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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