so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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