When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
