Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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