There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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