Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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