I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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