Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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