the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
