scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
