What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
