I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
