i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize