it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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