You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
