He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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