I wish my penis had an off switch
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
false alarm. still invincible.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
