I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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