You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
