I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
