Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
And then he peed in my hair
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