Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
