DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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