her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
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He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
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NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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