So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Be still, my beating vagina.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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