I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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