is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize