id be glad to
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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