chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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