i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
i now understand why vodka
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
