he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
