so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
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The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
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I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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