I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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