Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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