and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
